Hitting the newspapers this week have been stories covering the violence that has occurred in two of the country’s rugby centres over the weekend – one involving unruly spectators crudely armed with a variety of weapons attacking players, the other, on the field savagery that spread from a couple of players to both teams. As usual, there were racial overtones. As a coach, I was, some years ago, present at the initial inter-race rugby match played at 1st Division club level in Cape Town. It was not pleasant as we became the butt of some pretty foul language from opponents and spectators alike on and off the field (some of our members had been foolish enough to bring their wives and girlfriends to the game, so you can imagine the sort of comments that were made). Since then, most white clubs have become racially mixed but, sadly, they still sometimes have to put up with all sorts of abuse especially in lower rugby divisions. However, this sort of behaviour is not only one-way; we read of an all-white Wanderers team being accused of similar behaviour towards their other race opponents in Johannesburg. In Cape Town, the Western Province Rugby Union has tended to turn a blind eye to the sort of crude thuggery that occurs on some club rugby fields in their union - believe me, there is not just a bit of it. It is time for fierce action from the union and from SARFU.What, you may ask, has this to do with schools? Schools tend to reflect society, hence the aggression we are experiencing in some of our classrooms. Discipline barely exists in some schools.For what sort of life are we preparing our children? What sort of example do we set for them?Recently at a schools’ rugby match, a parent became incensed when a coach remonstrated with him for the sort of derogatory abuse he was hurling at the English-speaking under 14 boys (souties and so on) who were playing at the time (against boys who were predominantly Afrikaans). The result – the parent swung a flat hand at the (coloured) coach’s face; fortunately the coach pulled back and so was struck only a glancing blow. A charge of assault has, I believe, been brought against the assailant but that is by no means enough. What damage is this fellow doing in our society – does he go to every game at his (his son’s) school and shout similar inflammatory remarks at kids? What effect does this have on his son and the other children – and on the school? Is he using rugby to get revenge on society? What about his fellow parents who throng the touchline – do they tolerate this? They seemed to do so; do I then assume that they all share his antipathy towards English speaking South Africans? Rainbow nation? Nation?In several of the games on that Saturday morning, there were scuffles between players and that is simply just not acceptable and must not be tolerated at any level of the game. We teachers use sport as an educational tool – or do we not? Perhaps we just want to win in order to appease our inferiority feelings and to gain, vicariously, feelings of superiority. “We are the strongest school in the country and have produced 900 Springboks” type-of-thing! So bloody what? Have you educated your children in proper behaviour, in how to respond to pressure in an acceptable way, how to be a sportsman, a gentleman although a competitor? We must develop a proper perspective amongst our children but that will not be easy when we have parents such as I describe (as well as fighting, racial slurs and reprehensible violence from spectators at all levels of the game). If the parents cannot set the example and prepare their children for a decent life and give them wholesome attitudes then we schoolmasters must. There should be an absolute intolerance of any intemperate display by a schoolboy on the rugby field or any sports field. It is more difficult to handle the parents but we cannot have the sort of behaviour I describe. We should ban unpleasant parents from attending matches at our schools.On the same day as the assault on the side of the field, in the 1st XV game between the same two schools, a try was scored by the visiting team and the black referee (an excellent ref) awarded it but the touch judge (a white adult in the referee’s garb of his province) advised the ref that it was no try, so it was disallowed. Video footage, taken by a professional photographer, shows clearly that the touch-judge was unsighted and that in fact a try was scored. If the decision from the touch-judge was nothing more or less than a guess, then he is not fit to be a referee. The question asked by many is does he have any connection with the home side? If he does, there is even more reason for him not to have given his unsighted ruling, is there not? The points I am making are that we adults are losing proper perspective and are not setting the right example.It is of the utmost importance that all coaches, referees, spectators involved with schoolboy rugby behave impeccably and see that the youngsters follow that example.I was amused to read on the website or blog of one of the English schools recently on a rugby tour in South Africa that they had narrowly failed to beat one of the top schools 1st XV’s in the penultimate game of the tour whereas, in fact, they knew that they were not playing a 1st XV but were playing a side made up of non-first teamers, boys who would be returning to school in the following year. That report (or lie) is another example of losing perspective!